Journal Entry 38 weeks and 3 days

Oh boy.  I feel so ready to be done with this pregnancy thing.  I don’t necessarily mean that I am ready for the next phase, but that I am definitely ready for the heart burn, carpal tunnel, snoring, swollen hands and feet, tummy resting on my lap, shortness of breath and all of the extra weight to be gone. 

My stomach is huge.  The attention it garners gives me increased faith in the good and goodwill of the world.  It has been really fun to have total stranger strike up conversations about their own pregnancies/children and ask me about my due date, the sex of the baby, etc.  I often feel like people get too involved in their own little worlds and are reluctant to reach out to those around them.  This experience has shown me how easy it can be for people to relate to one another. 

And the other side: My stomach is huge.  The number of people commenting on the fact that I *still* haven’t gone into labor, that I am *still* at work, etc. is starting to make me nutty.  Yes, I am *still* here.  There is no need for you to comment on the fact because I am well aware of it.  Thank you very much. 

I still feel a bit stressed about the name situation.  I feel like our top two choices are both great and I don’t know which one to pick.  I have heard a few moms say that it was very clear that their chosen name was either right or wrong when they met their babe.  I pray that that will be our experience.  I don’t want the naming stress to continue into the hours or days after his birth. 

And the other side: I am extremely excited about his middle name.  His middle name will be my dad’s first name and I am so eager for my dad to learn the news.  My dad has a Swedish name (with an Americanized pronunciation) that is very uncommon in my part of the world.  If you google it, you will find plenty of people with his name, but I have never met another person with the name or known anyone who is familiar with it outside of our family.  I think my dad will be honored to have his first grandson share this name with him.  I feel like giving our little guy this name not only gives me (and our little guy) a stronger connection with my dad, but also with my grandparents who chose this name for their own son.  

I realize that I am still more than a week out from my due date, but I have started to have the irrational fear/belief that this kid might not ever come out.  I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I am just hoping and praying for some sort of news that will lead me back to the world of rational people - aka those that know that their children cannot stay inside them forever.  

♥ brooke

Note: At posting date, I am in my 39th week of pregnancy.  This is a journal entry from week 38.

My Pregnancy - 36 Weeks

I’ve been having contractions for just more than a week now.

When the first one happened, I wasn’t paying close attention and just thought to myself, “Hmmm.  That felt kind of weird.”  When the second one happened, I paid attention.  I felt somewhat short of breath and felt like the muscles of my uterus were slowly tightening and then releasing.  I went to the doctor the next day and he confirmed that these are Braxton-Hicks contractions. 

Having these contractions is oddly comforting.  It helps me to feel like we (baby and I) are making progress toward his eventual arrival. 

My main feelings of the week: I am anxious for his arrival and for this pregnancy to be over and done with.

The night time back aches have pretty much gone away.  They have been replaced with increased pains in my hands, increased need for potty breaks (especially in the middle of the night) and a racing brain in the middle of the night.  I wake up to go potty and then can’t fall back asleep because my brain is running a million miles an hour.  

♥ brooke

Note: At posting date, I am in my 37th week of pregnancy.  This is a journal entry from week 36.

Am I "Ready" to Become a Mama?

Almost to 35 weeks and it is all still so surreal. (Some things haven't changed much!)


At the beginning of my pregnancy, I thought that as the weeks rolled by I would somehow, magically, have a better grasp on the reality of this situation.  I don’t think that has happened.  Or at least not to the extent that I was expecting.  I do feel somewhat “ready” – but also still in a minor stage of denial.  


What does it mean to feel ready?  It means that I am anxious to meet my son.  It means that I am anxious to be done with near-constant heartburn, pregnancy induced carpal tunnel, back aches, and the other not-fun pregnancy side effects.  It means that we can now call ourselves the proud owners of things like a crib, diapers, a stack of board books and lots of tiny clothes.  It means that I have read through the first several chapters of newborn parenting books.  It means that I have filled out all of the paperwork for my FMLA leave, lined up a pediatrician and have made lots and lots of visits to my own doctor.

So, people ask if I am ready and I say “yes,” but I know that I am basically clueless about what to expect.    

An acquaintance referred to the time after the birth of your first child as “magical.”  I asked her to clarify.  She said that since you don’t know what to expect, you are on a kind of high simply because you are learning and experiencing new things at every turn. 

So, I may be ready or I may not be ready or (probably) I am as ready as I am going to be.  What I have to say just now is, "Bring it on!"   

♥ brooke

Note: At posting date, I am in my 36th week of pregnancy.  This is a journal entry from week 34.

My DIY Baby Book / Journal

Here are a few reasons why I created my own baby book and here are a few tips for you, if you are interested in creating a similar keepsake.

And here are some photos of my project! 

 

♥ brooke

How To Create a DIY Baby Book / Journal

Using cardstock, a printer, scissors, scrapbooking sticky squares (I don't know what the technical name), and a skinny sharpie, I am in the process of creating a DIY baby book/journal for Baby P. 

For several reasons, this seemed like the best option for me and for this particular baby.

If you are interested in doing something similar, here are a few tips:

• Search “printable” or “download” on Pinterest. 
• Once I found something that I liked and that seemed appropriate or adaptable to the baby book, I printed.  

• Try to keep an open mind concerning the intended use of the printable item.
  
  • The front page of Baby P.’s book was intended to be a Save The Date card for a wedding.  Instead, I used it as a way to mark his due date.
• Use the printable items as inspiration for topics to include in your baby book. 
  •  I used a list printable to keep track of our favorite baby names.      
  •  I used a travel printable to journal about the trips that we went on during the pregnancy.
• Browse through traditional baby books at the bookstore to get ideas for other pages to create in your personalized book.
• One book that I looked through had a blank monthly calendar.  I searched for something similar online and found an adorable (brightly colored!) blank calendar that I plan to use to keep track of important activities that occur.
• Most of the books that I have browsed have had a place for baby's footprint.  I plan to bring some blank cardstock to the hospital for the same purpose and to make a cute title for the page using Microsoft Word or Power Point.  

• Print out lined or blank pages for yourself (or others) to journal about your pregnancy or to write letters to the baby.  

• If you will have any baby showers during (or after) your pregnancy, ask the hostess to include an activity that will allow others to add to your baby book.
  • At one of my baby showers, each guest was asked to write a note to Baby P. that I later added to his book.
  
  **This is the second post in a three part series about creating a "do it yourself" version of a baby book/journal.  Part one explains why I created my own baby book and part three shows some photos of the project!
  

Why I Made A DIY Baby Book / Journal

I wasn’t a fan of any of the baby books that I checked out at our local bookstore.

Yes, I’ll admit that I am particular about such things. 

Many of the books that I looked at had great content, but I wasn’t particularly enthralled with the pastel color schemes or cartoon-y animal themes.  Also, some of the fill-in-the-blank style pages just didn’t quite fit with our family.  For example, Baby P. will have two sets of maternal grandparents.   This wasn’t something that seemed readily available in most of the pre-made baby books. 

I considered not keeping a true “baby book” and instead buying a blank book to fill in with more of a journal-style record of my pregnancy and Baby P.’s first few years of life. 

I wasn’t sure about this idea, either, so I shopped some more.  No luck.

Then, as I was browsing on Pinterest, I kept running across free files that I could download and print.

A little *spark* went off in my head and I decided that I could make my own baby book/journal combo. 

Doing so would allow me to customize the book in my own style, create pages that were specific to our own Baby P. and easily combine the traditional fill-in-the-blank style baby book with a journal.    

All of this for the cost of some cardstock, ink, a three-ring binder and some page protectors…not bad.  And so, the downloading, printing, writing and gluing began.

**This is the first post in a three part series about creating a "do it yourself" version of a baby book/journal.  Part two gives some tips for creating your own baby book and  part three shows some photos of the project!

More Baby Bumps

Now that I have been feeling his kicks and bumps for several weeks and, even better, been able to feel them with my hand from the outside, he is starting to seem more and more like a real person.  

Or, perhaps I should say, it is starting to gel in my mind that there is a real live little guy in my tummy and that he is the one that we will get to bring home from the hospital.  

Up until now, it seemed like the baby that we would bring home was a completely separate idea from the fact that my tummy was slowly getting bigger. 

Something else about the bumps: I now feel the need to hold my tummy or at least give it a little bounce  when I start to feel a few flutters and kicks.  Or sometimes, I just say "Hi, Baby."  I feel like he needs me to acknowledge his presence and to give him a little reassuring love.  

I want our little guy to know that I take notice of him throughout my day.  It is all kind of weird and doesn't really make sense, but somehow all of this makes me feel like I am becoming  more of a mom.

♥ brooke

Note: At posting date, I am in my 28th week of pregnancy.  This is a journal entry from week 23.

Baby Bumps

I just felt the baby move.  

A couple little pops in my tummy. 

I am sitting here with a stupid smile on my face.  I want to say “hi baby” in that sugary voice reserved for puppies, babies and all things tiny and precious. 

More pops and bumps and a little flutter. 

This is the most I have felt him or her move. 

I don’t want to move out of this position because I don't want it to stop.  It’s kind of like watching for falling stars.  You don’t want to look away and miss one. 

I don’t want to get up and get distracted by work and life and lose this connection with the little being that I can only really feel when I am sitting calmly and relaxing.

♥ brooke

Note: At posting date, I am in my 27th week of pregnancy.  This is a journal entry from week 19.

On the Surrealism of Early Pregnancy

I am halfway between 14 and 15 weeks pregnant.  In just a few - maybe five or six, weeks I should be able to feel the little one moving around in there.  And, about that same time, we will get to find out if he or she is a he or she. 

When we saw the baby: so definite, so baby-like and moving around so much, on the ultrasound, I could no longer harbor the secret question of his or her existence.  Still, seeing the baby move without being able to feel it made it seem less than real…like I was looking at a photo of another person's insides - not my own.  
  
It is all so surreal.  

I was surprised, in that first week or so of knowing for sure that I was pregnant, at all of the weird little feelings that I felt in my lower abdomen.  I guess my uterus was doing some stretches.  And then, I was more surprised, and a bit relieved, when they stopped and I felt just normal for quite a while.  But I think that “normal” feeling is part of what is keeping me from feeling like I am really pregnant or at least from believing it.   

♥ brooke


Note: At posting date, I am in my 26th week of pregnancy.  This is a journal entry from week 14.